So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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