Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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