found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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