oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
