So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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