I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
