Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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