Already got asked if we're dating
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
