I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
