he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
