So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
