so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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