So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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