So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
even my farts smell like vagina
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
