he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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