any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
