By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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