He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
