hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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