All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
only if we run a train.
done.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
