yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
