my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
