a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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