There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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