So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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