Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
