Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize