I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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