p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
