No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize