hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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