and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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