im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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