Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
