i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
