I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
