Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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