there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
