I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
