There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
