Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want to make out with him forever
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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