i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
