We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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