his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
