Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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