Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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