There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
