The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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