Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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