Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
