dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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