WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
