Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
