I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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