I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
