My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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